Purging

Purge: verb (used with object), purged, purg·ing. 

1. to rid of whatever is impure or undesirable; cleanse; purify.
2. to rid, clear, or free (usually followed by of  or from  ): to purge a political party of disloyal members.
3. to clear of imputed guilt or ritual uncleanliness.
4. to clear away or wipe out legally (an offense, accusation, etc.) by atonement or other suitableaction.
5. to remove by cleansing or purifying (often followed by away, off,  or out  ).

Purging does a body, a mind, and a soul good.

After my mom passed away I realized it was time to get rid of all the “junk” that has accumulated inside and out.

The outside stuff, possessions, I started immediately. More out of necessity than desire. I donated her clothes to Salvation Army and her walker and wheelchair to the local senior center.  I felt like I was betraying her, giving all of her things away. She was going to be so mad at me. Moments like those that would come out of the blue and hit me like a brick. It’s hard to purge at times like that.  Thus I have her scarves that used to drive me insane because she wouldn’t go anywhere without one on her head. Her crocheted vests that are thread worn and very out of style.  And Ssshhhhh a full bureau stuck in my closet.  I compensated by going through my own “junk” and getting rid of a lot of that.  Time to clean house.

The inside stuff, guilt, self-doubt, low self-esteem, has been with me for so long it is going to take time and work to purge.

Each day I try to start with a fresh slate.  I sit on the edge of my bed, breathe, and clear my head.  Sounds simple, but not so easily done.  When the previous days troubles slither into my thoughts they dredge up negative energy.  Negative energy breeds faster than….well, bunny rabbits.  Purge those thought baby!  Get rid of them first thing in the morning.  At the very least my ride to work may be calm.

Guilt? There will always be guilt.  A day will not pass without me feeling guilty for something I have done in the past.  However I will not let it consume me.  Instead I will use it to do something positive in the future.

Low self-esteem? Acknowledging I will never be perfect, I will never be good at everything, and there is no need to be, helps me feel better about myself. I dig deep in the memory banks and concentrate on positive comments people have given me.

Self doubt is a biggie. I have reached the age where I need to say “it’s time to try”. Even if I fall flat on my face and fail miserably I have tried. Sounds easy enough.  It’s time to purge the little voice in my head that laughs and says “YOU CAN’T”. Mentally I do battle with this voice often. It used to belong to some big ugly ogre looking creature.  Now it belongs to a small impy critter. I can beat him.  (I’m really not crazy, it helps me to visualize and you notice it’s an him”)

So in 2014 I am purging negative from my thoughts and my life.  Sure shitty things happen to me every day, but I will not dwell on them.  I will draw in positive energy from the universe and through me positive energy will be released.

It feels great just saying that.  Purging really does do a mind and body good.

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About ramblinann

I live in Massachusetts and always have. I sell healthy holistic pet food as an independant rep with Life's Abundance. That is done mostly from home on my computer. When I'm not working for myself with the pet food, I am sitting behind the wheel of a big yellow school bus.
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