“Do I need to buy her something?” Asked with a bit of resentment.
“I was going to buy her a gift certificate to the bank.”
“Is she and Ward or what ever his name is….?”
These are all questions my mother asked regarding my daughter’s, her grand daughter’s upcoming baby shower. Some days she just isn’t with it. Some days she knows what she wants to say, but the words are no longer there. Some days it comes and goes all in one conversation.
It feels like constantly rowing against the current but only moving down stream. It is not going to get any better, but it’s sure to get worse. She has begun to feel this. She gets mad at herself for being so “useless” and “such a pain”, then she gets sad and depressed because she is relying on me, adding to my list of things to do. It is a constant roller coaster ride of emotions.
That’s just her. Myself, well I have a whole separate ride going.
It was not supposed to be like this. I’m not sure what I imagined would happen when my parents got older. I guess I never gave it any thought. When you are young, parents are just there. In my mind I still pictured my mother like when I was a teenager. I was not prepared for when reality hit; and hit it did.