You know something I really dislike? That is an understatement. What I hate, detest, loathe, and despise, is to be lied to, about, or played. Which I found out yesterday, has happened.
I have had a friend since 5th grade. We went through everything together growing up. She even met and married someone in my family. Over the years our lives went in different directions and we lost touch. Only recently, thanks to computers, we reconnected.
I knew there have been problems in her marriage for many years. When things came to a head I told this friend I would do what I could to help her out of a bad situation, but would not get in the middle of a divorce. I certainly would not get in the middle of family vs friend. I thought it was understood.
Well we had a family party yesterday, a baby shower. Last weekend I received a text from my friend asking if I knew anything and was I going? She had just learned of the shower and would not be going because she and her daughter had already made plans.
I didn’t think anything more about it until my daughters and I were saying our goodbyes yesterday afternoon. It was then I was told the daughter had been afraid to come because she had been forbidden to attend by her mother. Also that I would see her there and report back to the mother. How dare she use me that way! This 16-year-old girl was afraid to attend her own cousin’s baby shower because she thought I would “turn her in”! It was a baby shower for God’s sake not an adult party or something. My friend LIED and brought me into that lie. She involved me in her B.S. and made my family think I would be involved in it with her. They could not even take their grand-daughter to her cousin’s baby shower. How messed up is that?
My reaction to finding this out created an uncomfortable situation for my daughters and put me on the spot. My aunts were upset with me. They thought I would do this? I did not create a scene. In fact I remained fairly calm. I made sure my aunt knew I felt horrible that this had happened and I would NEVER get involved in something like that. Also let her grand-daughter know how sorry I am that she felt she couldn’t attend.
I am still steamed but refuse to let the negativity and anger simmer. It’s not healthy and I will not go there. My friend is lucky I am working on becoming a much calmer more forgiving person. The old me would have probably blown my phone up sending a bunch of nasty accusatory texts. The new me has not bothered.
I haven’t decided how I will handle things when she contacts me. Is it worth me confronting her? Probably not. I think it might be best to just remove myself from the situation completely. Let both sides know I will not be used and go on to bigger and more positive things.