I started the year all gung-ho as most of us do, with goals to reach and projects to finish. Determined to put my nose to the grindstone and accomplish something.
I signed up for Reiki 1 and will be taking the course Feb 9. I bought crochet hooks and have numerous little practice projects started and ripped apart. I even forged ahead with the diet and have already taken off a couple of pounds. I was on the right track to make 2012 a very productive year. Up until this past week that is.
That is when, during a bus route, old memories threw me right off track. I haven’t been able to concentrate or sit still, and have become very wishy-washy.
For every pro I have a con. For every bit of positive energy there is twice as much negative. I am doubting my ability to do everything, including writing here and writing the children’s story. Self doubt is pushing me back into the rut I fought so hard to get out of .
I can’t let this go on for long. Wallowing in self-doubt could bring my life to a screeching halt. That can’t be allowed. I have come too far to take that down hill slide.
The memories I need to take away from that house are the ones of me reclaiming myself. Breaking free of all the molds others had forced me into. Proclaiming “This is me. This is who I really am. If you don’t like it then turn away right now.”
Wow, just saying that out loud makes me feel so much better. Being able to write it all here might just mean I aint so wishy-washy after all.